A Cry in the Dark
by sparxxa
Summary: Atlantis receives a distress call... Nothing new there... The distress call is from a team member that supposedly died two years earlier... That's different. Season Three Stackhouse/Markham
1. Chapter 1

Well hear is my second attempt at my first ever Stargate Atlantis fic. Early warning: this will contain slash in future chapters…just to let you know.

Set Season Three.

Disclaimer: I just write fanfic; Stargate Atlantis does not belong to me.

Thank you to AlfirinKirinki for allowing me to use certain names for characters…explanations next chapter.

* * *

He had to keep running, had to keep going, had to go forward; had to keeping pushing himself to go even faster, no matter how much it hurt.

He was as good as dead if he didn't.

The air was smoke-laden and oppressive, making his eyes sting and his lungs burn with every breath that he took but he had to keep moving.

He didn't know how long he'd been running or how long it had been since he was last safe, he couldn't even tell whether it was day or night. Somewhere along the line time had become irrelevant. All that mattered was surviving.

Run- get injured- get captured- get beaten- get healed- get released- run.

It was an ongoing painful circle, ending only if they decide that they'd had enough of you and killed you. He didn't know what 'they' looked like and he didn't want to. You'd only get to see their true faces the moment before they gave the killing blow, and he was nowhere near ready for it to come to that.

He still held on to the dream of someday being rescued; being taken back to the great city that he had once called home. To see the people that he cared about, the people that had become like an extended family to him. To see the _person_ that had meant everything to him; the person who kept him fighting.

It had been so long though, it was becoming more and more unlikely that anyone was coming for him…there may not even be anyone there to miss him…

He didn't care though because at least false hope is better than no hope and even impossible had possible in it…or something like that. He had to keep going though; giving up was not an option.

He was nearly there. If he could keep running and remember the right way, then he'd finally have a chance…

His legs ached and his chest was tight but that little glimmer of hope was now just a whisper away…

He almost laughed out loud in utter relief as he finally found what he'd been looking for.

There amongst the dying trees was the Stargate.

He and an alien scientist, Boysdanlmead, had stumbled upon it while they had been trying to find somewhere to hide and get some rest. Boysdanlmead had worked out that there was not enough power to sustain and outgoing wormhole long enough to send a person through but there was just enough power to send a message through, one way only. They'd left the gate and run on further, away from the gate, just to make sure that their captors didn't find it instead. They still weren't sure whether they were being tracked somehow but neither of them had wanted to take any risks just in-case they were. Between them they had rigged together a radio transmitter from items they had on them, so that they would be able to send their message to his home, which they had agreed would be their best hope.

Then Boysdanlmead had been captured and killed and he could think of no better way than to honour the memory of the scientist by surviving.

He hooked up the transmitter just like Boysdanlmead had told him, and with trembling hands, dialled the gate. It had been so long since he'd dialled that particular address but he could still recall the sequence as if it had only been a few days.

Fear started to creep in though. What if he sent the message and no-one received it? He'd never have any way of knowing. What if there was no-one there anymore? What if they were all dead…?

He crouched down, clinging to the radio as if it were his last lifeline, which it pretty much was, and waited for the click that would signal the time for him to begin speaking.

There it was; the click.

He began to speak, not caring that his voice was shaky and that he sounded desperate and close to tears. He was finally getting to contact his home after so long; he was allowed to give in to his feelings just a little.

"Atlantis…Atlantis I'm not sure if anyone is there or if anyone's listening but, oh god, I hope you are…Please, please you've got to help me…My name is Sergeant James Markham USMC…I repeat, my name is Sergeant Jamie Markham…Help me…"

* * *

To be continued... 


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks again to AlfirinKirinki for allowing me to use the names 'Adam' and 'Jamie' for Stackhouse and Markham.

Calling Kagan (Phantoms) 'Tim' is my fault. I'm also to blame for: Technicians Chris Ellis and Craig Cullen, Lieutenants Keith Crosby and Seamus Lee, Corporal Robbi Barton and dead alien scientist Boysdanlmead…and if anyone knows how I named these guys that's brilliant!

Spoilers for Season One episodes 'Brotherhood' and 'Siege'

Set season three, a few weeks after 'Phantoms'

* * *

Chapter Two. 

Chuck sighed to himself as he surveyed the practically empty gate room. It was late and most of the inhabitants of Atlantis were tucked up on their beds, but not him. Oh, no. No he was working the practically dead 'graveyard' shift, having swapped shifts with one of the other technicians who hadn't been feeling too well…he was definitely getting soft in his old age but the smile she'd given him had been worth it…

With the exception of the occasional graveyard shift Chuck loved his life on Atlantis. He was the one there to let out and back in again all the off-world teams and he was even becoming part of the mythology of Atlantis; all because of his surname.

The whole thing stemmed from the fact that hardly anyone actually _knew_ his surname. Even the military personnel, who were infamous for calling everyone by their last names, called him 'Chuck' so it had become part of the mythology of the expedition that he had no surname. This, of course, had prompted Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne to start up a competition of sorts to see who could work it out first. It had come to a point where the rest of Atlantis were taking bets on how long it would take them to come up with the right answer, and he'd even heard from Sergeant Kagan that the Colonel had persuaded Lieutenant Lee to keep a surname book for him on the Daedalus in an attempt to cheat. Neither Colonel Sheppard nor Major Lorne had come even close so far and only two people in Atlantis knew his last name and neither was saying a thing; it was good for morale after all.

His musing on the competition and the latest news from Doctor Zelenka, who was running the betting, was abruptly interrupted when the gate was suddenly activated.

He looked up with a frown, noting the confused looks of technician Chris Ellis and the marine on duty Lieutenant Keith Crosby, the only other two people in the control room, as the gate deactivated only moments later.

He was about to call Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard to alert them to the unscheduled gate activation when he noticed that in the time that the gate had been activated they'd been sent a radio transmission. Making certain that the transmission was secure and backed up he began to listen to it.

Suddenly he heard something that made him snap his head up to look at his colleague.

"Chris. Contact Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard. Get them up here now!"

* * *

It was about ten minutes before both Doctor Elizabeth Weir and Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard entered the control room, heading straight towards Chuck's workstation.

"What's going on Sergeant?" asked Weir as they approached.

"Unscheduled gate activation Ma'am. We received a radio transmission. It was a distress call."

"From our off-world team?" asked Colonel Sheppard with a frown. Doctors McKay and Beckett, along with Sergeant Kagan and Corporal Barton, were currently off-world and not due back until the next day.

"No sir." Chuck replied, shaking his head before pressing a button on his console to begin the play-back of the transmission.

"_Atlantis…Atlantis I'm not sure if anyone is there or if anyone's listening but, oh god, I hope you are…Please, please you've got to help me…My name is Sergeant James Markham USMC…I repeat, my name is Sergeant Jamie Markham…Help me…" _

Chuck pressed pause on the transmission. Both Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard looked surprised.

"Markham?"

"But Sergeant Markham was killed two years ago…how is this possible?" demanded Weir.

Sheppard shrugged. "Some kind of trick?" he suggested.

"I don't think so sir." Chuck replied, pressing 'play' to resume the transmission.

"…_I don't know where I am or how I got here, so I hope you can trace this…I…you'll want proof…that it's me…Chuck! Chuck the gate technician keeps a puzzle book Velcro-ed under his console for quiet moments and…and whenever Corporal Robbi Barton is scared she hums 'Calon Lan'…oh god, they're coming…please you've got to help me... I…"_

The transmission was cut off abruptly by the sound of explosions and then static. Doctor Weir looked between the two men.

"Sergeant?"

Reaching under his console Chuck removed the crossword puzzle book he had hidden under there, putting it on top of the desk.

"Only Doctor Grodin and Sergeant Markham knew about this. They were both on the night shift when I first stuck it under there."

Doctor Weir nodded, sparing a thought for Doctor Peter Grodin who had been killed only a few weeks after Sergeant Markham, when the Wraith had destroyed the weapons outpost that he'd been trapped on.

"John?"

"What he said about Corporal Barton is true; she's even started to teach people the words."

"Are we willing to accept, at least at this point, that he is who he claims to be?" she asked.

"At least enough to investigate." Sheppard answered.

"And were you able to trace the gate address?" she asked Chuck.

"Yes Ma'am." Chuck replied

"Then Colonel I suggest you get a team together."

He nodded "Right, I'll grab Lorne, Ronon and Zelenka"

"Sir, you might want to take Sergeant Stackhouse with you." Suggested Chuck; feeling a little uncomfortable at offering advice to the senior military leader of the expedition. "He and Sergeant Markham were good friends."

Sheppard regarded the Canadian technician for a moment before nodding and heading out to find his team. "Ok. We leave in thirty minutes."

Elizabeth patted Chuck on the shoulder before heading towards her office, leaving Chuck and Chris to organise everything ready for the team to leave.

* * *

To say that John Sheppard was confused would be something of an understatement.

He and his team hadn't been in Atlantis the day Markham had been killed; they'd been off-world trying unsuccessfully to acquire a ZPM for the city. Getting back from such a wasted mission to be told that two of his men had been shot out of the sky, their jumper destroyed, by the Wraith had been a bitter blow, and one that for a long time he hadn't been able to stop dwelling on. He had wondered what would have happened if he had been there when the Wraith appeared over Atlantis and the jumpers were sent out. Maybe he would have been able to see the Wraith dart and destroy it before it could take out Markham and Smith, and thereby preventing all of the other problems that, that Wraith had caused in the city.

For Markham to be contacting them now, alive, after being believed to be dead for two years was just mind-boggling.

He'd decided against telling his team what the mission was until they were all assembled. The only thing he'd told them in explanation for waking them at such a ridiculously early hour was that it was an emergency and had asked Doctor Zelenka to bring one of the Life Signs Detectors with him.

Major Evan Lorne and Sergeant Adam Stackhouse were the first to meet him outside the gate room, followed by Ronon Dex who grunted something unintelligible at him as a greeting. A few minutes later Doctor Radek Zelenka hurried towards them, life signs detector in hand.

"My apologies, McKay put this away last, so that I nearly could not find it"

Sheppard nodded. "It's ok Doc, we're all here now"

"So are you going to tell us what this is all about now sir?" asked Lorne.

Sheppard looked to his second in command before looking around at the other three men that made up his team for this mission.

"We've received a transmission…a distress call. Thing is though, that it came from Sergeant James Markham." He told them, gauging their reactions.

Lorne looked a little perplexed, but that was only to be expected as he hadn't joined the expedition until after the siege; Zelenka looked surprised and muttered something in Czech; Ronon just asked "Who?", but it was Stackhouse's reaction, after Chuck's comments, that he was watching in particular.

On the surface was his usual professional military mask, expressionless and emotionless; but in his eyes Sheppard could see pain and anger.

"Is that meant to be a joke sir?" Stackhouse asked quietly, his voice sounding a little strained.

Sheppard shook his head. "No joke."

"But how?" questioned Zelenka.

"Not sure." He replied, keeping his attention on Stackhouse who was staring back at him.

"Sir…" Stackhouse began, "I was there in one of the other jumpers when the Wraith blew his jumper to smithereens. He was killed right in-front of me… That was two years ago. Jamie is _dead_."

Sheppard nodded, noting the way Stackhouse had said 'Jamie' rather than 'Markham'. "I understand that Sergeant, but the person who contacted us offered proof, including something that according to Chuck only two other people in Atlantis knew…Markham being one and Doctor Grodin being the other."

Zelenka murmured something in Czech again at the mention of the scientist that had been a close friend of his.

"So what's the plan sir?" Lorne asked, breaking the slight tension that had descended on them.

"We go investigate. Find out whether it is Markham or not." He informed them. "Shall we?"

No-one said a word but they all followed him in to the gate room where Chuck was getting ready to dial the gate, with Doctor Weir stood nearby.

"Good luck." She called out to them as Chuck began to dial the gate address.

Sheppard nodded. "Thanks"

"Wormhole established" announced Chuck as the gate activated with a burst of light.

Looking to his team Sheppard nodded then led the way through the gate, not knowing who or what would be waiting on the other side.


	3. Chapter 3

First off I am so, so sorry for anyone who was expecting this next chapter a few weeks back. Out of all of the chapters this is the one that was the least planned out so hopefully the rest of the story will go smoothly now (though with my luck…)

So yes, don't forget this is a slash fic. It's set in Season Three a few weeks after "Phantoms".

* * *

Stepping through the gate into an atmosphere that was thick with smoke was not exactly what any of them had hoped for. It wasn't too bad but you got the feeling that it would start feeling more and more oppressive as time wore on. Hopefully though, they wouldn't have to stay on the planet for too long. 

To say that it wasn't the most impressive sight they'd ever come across would be sort of an understatement. The gate was surrounded by dying trees and the ground varied from being dirt and dust to being covered with strange bracken like plants. It was a wonder that anyone could survive in such a hostile appearing environment.

Doctor Zelenka was already examining the DHD which appeared to be somewhat overgrown with the local plant life; he'd started muttering in Czech and pulling at the weeds mere moments after spotting it. While he was doing that, Colonel Sheppard, Major Lorne, Ronon Dex and Sergeant Stackhouse surveyed the immediate area, finding no sign of the person they were looking for.

"So where is he then?" asked Ronon

"The transmission was cut off" explained Sheppard, "It sounded like he was under attack, so he probably headed into the undergrowth."

Lorne held up the life signs detector that he'd retrieved from Doctor Zelenka, turning in a circle to scan the whole area surrounding them. "I'm not picking anything up, apart from us."

Sheppard frowned. "We received the transmission less than an hour ago; he can't have gone too far."

"It's probably the density of the forest." Commented Doctor Zelenka as he rejoined the group.

"What's the verdict?" Sheppard asked indicating to the DHD.

"Ah, simple problem. The plant life interfered with a power relay which explains why we only received a message not a person. It's fixed now."

"So we'll be able to get out of here easily enough." Sheppard reiterated, to which the scientist nodded. "Well that's good to know. Alright then, let's get searching. Ronon if you and Lorne go east, we'll go west."

"Fine." Agreed Ronon.

"Stay in radio contact and if you haven't found anything in three hours head back to the gate."

"Yes sir." Replied Lorne; handing over the Life Signs Detector to Sheppard before following the tall Satedan into the forest.

Sheppard looked to Sergeant Stackhouse and Doctor Zelenka before directing his little group into the forest as well.

* * *

Walking through the forest, in relative silence, was giving Sergeant Adam Stackhouse an uncomfortable amount of time to think over what was going on. 

When Sheppard had told them that Jamie Markham was out there asking for help he hadn't believed it. Like he'd told Sheppard, Jamie was dead, he'd watched the jumper be blown out of the sky, had seen it explode in a whirl of fire and debris. He could still remember every single agonising second of that entire incident, from the moment that the jumpers were sent out, to the debriefing in the control room where they were given news that the Wraith had sent a transmission into space, to make matters even worse.

There wasn't a day that went by without him thinking about what happened that day and for it all to be brought up again under such odd circumstances had knocked him for six; even if he wouldn't show it.

Once upon a time possibly only four people in the whole of Atlantis had known that there existed something between him and Jamie that exceeded the boundaries of friendship and team-mates. Now there was just two, and with Tim Kagan off-world on his first mission back on duty since the mission that had resulted in him nearly dying numerous times, it seemed likely that Chuck had been the one to somehow get him on this mission since he doubted he would have been asked otherwise.

In all honesty Adam didn't know what he should be feeling about the whole thing.

Finding out that someone you cared about and who you believed to be dead for almost two years was not quite so dead and asking for help was too bizarre for most people to even contemplate. Part of him wanted it to be true, he wanted to find out that the nightmare of losing Jamie like that was over and that Jamie was safe and alive. He wanted things to be like they had been before but he knew that even if they did find Jamie here it wouldn't be like that.

Two years is a long time. He'd changed and if Jamie had been stuck in this place for two years then there was no doubt that he would have changed too.

Then again there was the incredibly likely possibility that this was all fake, which would beg the question who was doing this and why would they use Jamie's name to bring them to this place?

One thing was for certain though. If the person that had brought them here was not the real Jamie Markham then he was going to make them pay for using that name and to hell with the military's "Don't ask, don't tell" policy.

* * *

It was about half an hour into their trek through the forest when they received word from Major Lorne. It appeared that Ronon's highly advanced tracking skills had picked up someone's trail. Sheppard told Lorne to stick with it and that the three of them would catch up with them as quickly as they could. 

The terrain made it difficult to go as fast as they would have liked, Doctor Zelenka nearly stumbled over the bracken type vines a few times, but bit by bit they were drawing nearer to where the Life Signs Detector was indicating that the three signals were.

Adam though was becoming more and more convinced though that this wasn't for real, that it was just some elaborate hoax. If Jamie had been alive for all those years he would have found a way back before now.

No, it couldn't be him. Jamie was dead, he'd died flying over Atlantis and this life sign was somebody else. Ronon and Major Lorne wouldn't know the difference, they never met Jamie, but he knew. Sergeant James Markham was dead. This wasn't him. It couldn't be.

They were almost there, not quite in visual range but it would only be a matter of moments before they were. Then he heard it. An achingly familiar voice calmly stating:

"So this is how it ends."

Jamie?

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to all those who read this story, I do appreciate it.

* * *

He was struggling. He'd been injured in the last attack, and it was making things ten times harder than they already were. The pain in his leg was so strong and running on it was becoming even less and less of a viable option; and he didn't exactly have many options to begin with.

The blood loss was also something of a problem. Although the bleeding had seemed to have stopped he was feeling a little dizzy but he knew that if he stopped moving it would only get worse.

He stumbled, losing his footing in the thick vines that covered the ground. Pain shot up his leg so intensely that he had to focus hard to prevent himself from crying out and/or passing out. He was dizzy and tired but he had to keep going. There was a cave not too far away that he could rest in for a couple of hours but first he had to just get there.

He stumbled again, this time in surprise as a figure emerged from the undergrowth.

Tall and carrying a weapon that was currently pointed straight at him.

His heart sank. Was this it? Was this one of them?

The being advanced towards him and then stopped. There was a good distance between them but he knew that there was nothing that he could do to either escape or defend himself. He was out of options but that didn't seem to really matter.

He was finally coming face to face with one of 'them', he was about to die, but he wasn't afraid.

He smiled softly. "So this is how it ends."

He didn't want to die but it was starting to seem inevitable. At least he would die on his feet and facing his enemy.

His smile faltered though as a second figure appeared coming to stand near the first. The second figure was shorter than the first, he appeared to be human, and more confusingly he seemed to be wearing an Earth military uniform.

His first thought was that they were toying with him again, making him hallucinate but he didn't recognise this man and his hallucinations, when they used them, were of people he knew from Atlantis coming to save him. He watched them warily; what the hell was going on here?

"So this is how it ends." He repeated as calmly as he possibly could.

Maybe if he could provoke some kind of reaction or response he'd be able to work out what they were doing and what was real. He knew rationally that provoking the enemy was not the smartest plan ever but unfortunately it was the only plan he had.

Suddenly three more figures emerged from amongst the trees, walking over to join the other two; these three however were very familiar. Major Sheppard, Doctor Zelenka and…and Sergeant Adam Stackhouse.

That was it. He was hallucinating again; he had to be. Apparently it wasn't enough to just kill him; they were going to make him hallucinate one last time, making it look like he was finally getting rescued. Well he wasn't falling for it for one second.

He glared at the tall figure, convinced that it was one of _them_ and the only real one there. "If you're going to kill me just get on with it, you don't need to play that mind-crap stuff on me again. I ain't playing no more."

* * *

Something very, very strange was going on.

For all his beliefs that this was all some elaborate hoax, it was getting very difficult for Adam to deny that this person looked one hell of a lot like Jamie Markham.

That was one of the strange things.

This Jamie looked practically identical to the Jamie that had grinned at Adam moments before getting into the jumper that only ten or so minutes later was shot down supposedly taking Jamie with it. Apart from the dirt coating his uniform, some cuts and what looked like drying blood on one of his trouser legs, he seemed exactly the same; as if it had been two hours rather than two years. Surely if Jamie had been trapped in this wilderness for two years he should at the very least be sporting a beard or longer hair, or something, not just looking slightly dishevelled.

Then of course was the way he was acting; giving them a barely disguised look of disgust before glaring at Ronon, who of-course Jamie had never met. The words Jamie had said echoed in his mind.

"_If you're going to kill me just get on with it, you don't need to play that mind-crap stuff on me again. I ain't playing no more."_

He really didn't know what to make of that. Mind-crap? What did that mean? He didn't want to dwell on it but the fact that Jamie was so calmly expecting death saddened him; he was practically demanding it! How could the brave, almost reckless, cheerful young man that he had known and cared about have been reduced to this?

Part of him strongly wanted to say something, anything, but he couldn't find the words. He was relieved to say the least when Colonel Sheppard decided to take that burden; the burden of greeting the man that they had long believed dead.

"Sergeant Markham?"

Jamie glanced over to them, something like irritation flashing in his eyes, before turning his attention back to the Satedan who just stared back completely nonplussed by the situation.

Sheppard glanced between Lorne and Adam before starting again.

"Are you alright Sergeant?"

Jamie didn't even look at them this time, keeping his focus centred entirely on Ronon. "I told you, you don't need to go through this hallucination crap with me, they aren't here and I'd prefer it if you'd just kill me now than keep trying to mess with me."

Adam blinked. Hallucination? Weren't _they_ meant to be trying to work out if this guy was for real and not the other way around?

Sheppard frowned. "You're not hallucinating Markham…Look, we received your distress call…"

"No." responded Jamie, shaking his head. "That didn't work, I sent it over a week ago, and there was no response. You're not real."

What? They couldn't have received that transmission more than two hours, three at the most, earlier; how on earth could Jamie think it was a week ago?

"I can assure you Sergeant that I was definitely real when I got up this morning."

"No. You're not real. This is another mind-game. I'm not playing. You're never real. It's never real."

There was a hint of despair and desperation in Jamie's voice that shook him. The part of his mind that was continuing to tell him that it was a hoax and that it was Jamie that wasn't real, not the other way around, was slowly being silenced by concern for the state of mind of the young man in front of him.

Ignoring the slightly dubious look that Sheppard was sending him he stepped forward.

"Jay, look at me." He said, amazed at how neutral his voice was sounding.

"No. You aren't real."

How he'd missed that damn stubborn streak.

"Then listen." He said before pausing, wracking his brain for some way of proving who he was without giving too much away. "During the self-regulated quarantine in Atlantis, we ended up stuck in a room with Kages, Robbi, Tone and Croz. After about two hours of listening to Kages and Tone argue about that dumb song writing project they were doing Robbi started singing. Remember?"

Jamie had shifted his attention to him, so at least he knew that his idea was sort of working. He started smiling to himself as the memories of that day came flooding back to him. Getting stuck in a room with Jamie, Sergeant Tim Kagan, Corporal Robbi Barton, Sergeant Tony McVeigh and Lieutenant Keith Crosby hadn't been his idea of a great afternoon but it had definitely been memorable.

"She was scared. Thinking we were all going to die, you suggested that she actually teach us that song she was singing." He continued.

"Everyone thought I was nuts." Jamie said quietly, as if he was talking to himself.

He grinned. "You were. A bunch of marines sat around singing Welsh hymns, it was mad. Croz was the only one that picked up the lyrics easily, Tone kept arguing that being a Geordie almost qualified him as being Celtic but we all battled through… then Bates showed up. The quarantine had ended and he'd come to look for us since we were all meant to be on duty. The look on his face was priceless…remember what he said?"

"'If you're done with choir practice maybe you'd like to get some work done.'" Jamie paused. "Adam?"

There was the barest hint of hope in Jamie's voice but Adam didn't want to leave it at that. He had to prove it to Jamie so that there would be no doubt in the younger man's mind that he wasn't being tricked. "Chuck gave me that note by the way. Come on Jay was 'Bye' the best you could come up with?"

Jamie frowned. "He gave you that?"

Before Adam had an opportunity to come up with a way to respond to that, Colonel Sheppard stepped forward.

"Since you seem happier that we're all real and who we say we are, how about you proving that you are who you say you are."

Jamie frowned and Adam couldn't blame him for feeling confused, he had to admit that he was a little in the dark as to how Jamie would prove his identity. Jamie hadn't been on half as many missions with Colonel Sheppard that he had in the early months of the expedition and with the exception of that incident where the then Major nearly died and he and Jamie had almost ended up permanently dematerialized, there weren't exactly many anecdotes that Jamie could draw on as examples.

The answer came for both of them as Colonel Sheppard switched off the life-signs detector, handed it to Ronon then turned to Jamie with a slight smirk and said "Catch."

Despite the wary looks Jamie had been directing Ronon's way his instincts kicked in straight away when the Satedan threw the ancient device at him. The second Jamie caught the device it activated, powering up.

Sheppard nodded. "Works for me." Looking to Lorne he explained "Markham was one of the few original expedition members that had a natural ATA gene"

Realising that he'd passed that test Jamie gave a small half smile to Adam, which he returned with quite a bit of relief. He hadn't realised how much he'd started hoping that this really was his Jamie, especially after spending so much time trying his best not to build his hopes up too high.

"One more thing though." continued Sheppard "Can you tell me why some of the marines insist on using names of vegetables as compliments?"

The small smile on Jamie's face turned into a look of horror as Adam tried his best not to start smirking; this was going to be priceless. Those weren't compliments after-all…

"Um…they uh...ap-apparantly 'Moron' is the-uh- Welsh word for carrot and...Uh...Radish is a...er...way of calling someone a dork or a-a idiot...in some places…Sir." stammered Jamie, blushing slightly.

Sheppard's jaw dropped ever so slightly and Lorne only just about managed to cover a chuckle with a cough.

"Damn it" cursed Sheppard before shaking his head and changing the subject in a kind-of obvious attempt to save his pride. Adam couldn't help wondering who had called the Colonel one of those names…and what would happen to them once Sheppard caught up with them. "Well I don't know about the rest of you but I for one am ready to head back to Atlantis…so shall we?"

"The gate doesn't work Major." Jamie spoke up "I've tried."

"Zelenka fixed it." Replied Sheppard. "And its Colonel now; got myself a promotion."

Jamie shot a slightly bewildered look at Adam who silently shook his head and moved in to help support him, as they made their way back to the gate following the others.

For most of the journey Jamie was silent, which was strange but Adam wasn't exactly being a great conversationalist either; he just didn't know what to say to him.

This was all so weird and far, far too much to take in but there they were. Jamie was alive and relatively alright and Adam just couldn't quite believe that after two years of believing him to be gone forever there he was…it was a miracle.

Maybe everything could turn out well after all…

"Adam?"

"Yeah?" he asked giving a sidelong glance to the man beside him.

"How…How long have I been missing?"

…And abruptly that happy ending withered away again.

He thanked his lucky stars as just up ahead of them Doctor Zelenka dialled the gate that would take them back to Atlantis, receiving confirmation from Chuck that the shield would be down so that they could safely return, effectively saving him from the awkward situation he'd found himself in.

Sidestepping the question he turned to Jamie with a slightly forced smile. "Ready to return home?"

Jamie nodded mutely as they resumed their course to join the other four members of the group ready to take the return trip through the Stargate.

The question would have to be answered eventually; Adam just didn't know how Jamie would react when it was.

Somehow he knew though that things were going to get a whole lot more complicated before they could even contemplate normalcy again…


	5. Chapter 5

The gate closed sharply behind them as they walked through into the gateroom and Sheppard was mildly surprised, to say the least, to see Doctors McKay and Beckett stood with Doctor Weir; and it was fair to say that they looked a little surprised too.

He could have sworn that the two Doctors and their military escorts weren't due back until the next day but he was sure that there would be a reasonable, logical explanation for their early return; or at the very least _some _sort of explanation.

If Doctor Weir truly was surprised to see a presumed dead member of her expedition walking back into Atlantis then she hid it very well. With a warm smile she approached the returning team, Doctors McKay and Beckett following her.

"Welcome back" she greeted before looking to Sergeant Markham, "It's good to see you Sergeant."

Sergeant Markham managed a weak smile and a polite "Ma'am." But it was obvious that things were starting to take its toll on him. He was leaning a little more heavily against Sergeant Stackhouse than he had before as the adrenaline wore off, the fear diminished and the tiredness from the exertion he had been under caught up.

Noticing this Doctor Beckett intervened. "Right then, 'better get Sergeant Markham here down to the infirmary to see to that leg. I'll call for a stretcher."

"Please, Sir," spoke up Markham, "I can make it; I can walk."

Beckett eyed him warily, "I don't think that's such a good idea son."

"I can make sure he gets there Sir." Said Stackhouse awkwardly, feeling the need, possibly out of guilt, to speak up for his friend.

Beckett looked to Doctor Weir. Quarantine protocols were already shot to pieces as they hadn't been expecting them back so soon, so the harm was already done. Weir looked back to him an eyebrow raised in amusement, offering no help at all and Sheppard just shrugged amiably like he always did in this situation. It was a battle he faced every time a member of the military contingent was injured and he knew it was one he would probably never win.

He sighed resignedly, "Alright then. Off we go."

He followed as Stackhouse helped Markham out of the gateroom muttering to himself. Not all of the words were clear but most of them heard: "Bloody military. All as bad as each other. Take after their Colonel. Stubborn bloody buggars…"

With their exit from the gateroom the mission was unofficially over, with the silent implication that all mission reports would have to be in as soon as possible. Without saying anything they all dispersed, Lorne going over to speak with Lieutenant Kemp who was now in the gateroom, and Zelenka was summoned over to look at something by one of the technicians, Craig Cullen, who was gesturing at him rather enthusiastically from where he was stood by Chuck; leaving Doctor Weir, Doctor McKay, Sheppard and Ronon at the bottom of the steps.

"So what are you and Beckett doing back?" Sheppard asked McKay, hoping to clear up that matter.

"Mission ended early." McKay replied succinctly.

"I'd gathered that, what happened?"

"There was a misunderstanding and we were asked to leave."

"What?" Sheppard asked surprised. "That was meant to be a straight forward trade mission, how did you screw it up?"

"Me? Why do you think it's my fault?" McKay retorted indignantly.

"Rodney."

"According to Doctor Beckett, Doctor McKay and Corporal Barton started bickering which upset the local indigenous peoples. Carson and Sergeant Kagan were able to save the trade agreement with one proviso." Doctor Weir explained.

"What's that?" Sheppard asked warily.

"That we leave Doctor McKay and Corporal Barton here next time we visit." Weir replied with a wry smile.

"Barton." Sheppard muttered to himself shaking his head, "Don't worry I've got a few things I need to talk to her about anyway." To which Ronon started chuckling, gaining himself a sharp but pleading look from Sheppard.

Deciding to overlook whatever that was about Doctor Weir changed the subject.

"You were back a lot sooner than we expected." She said as she turned and headed up the stairs, leading them up towards her office.

Sheppard shrugged, "Three hours. Not bad I guess."

Weir stopped sharply, looking to him in surprise. "Three hours? John you were gone thirty minutes at the most."

Sheppard shot a look at Ronon and then smirked, "No way."

"You left here at four, it's half past now."

"But McKay…"

"Arrived back fifteen minutes ago." Explained Rodney "Just enough time to tell Elizabeth about what had happened and get a brief rundown of where you lot had disappeared to."

Sheppard shook his head, "This can't be right. It took a little while for us to get our bearings and for Zelenka to examine the DHD, then about thirty minutes searching before Ronon and Lorne caught the trail, another forty-five for us to catch up, then there was a problem with making sure we were all who we said we were, before heading back to the gate. It took three hours."

"At least." Added Ronon.

Weir frowned, "John look at your watch."

He was sceptical to say the least but he thought he might as well humour her. Checking his watch he was shocked to see that she was in fact correct. Looking up he checked the main time piece that they had eventually hung up on one of the walls to make sure they were all on the right time and that was showing the time as being just after half past four, as well. Glancing around he realised that with the exception of the additions of Lieutenant Kemp, Sergeant Hansen and technician Craig Cullen, it was still the same basic skeleton graveyard shift that had been on duty when they had left; surely if they had been gone for three hours then the morning shift would have already taken over.

Looking down to where Lorne was he could see that his second in command appeared to be having a similar conversation with Kemp. Something wasn't adding up.

"We should continue this in my office." Weir decided "I'll contact Carson, see if he has any idea about this."

He nodded. This was definitely turning into one of those days.

* * *

Adam Stackhouse was still in something of a daze as he made his way through the still quiet corridors of the city. He'd just left Jamie in the infirmary with Doctor Beckett, after getting his own post mission check (since he was there) to make sure he wasn't carrying anything contagious- and getting the all clear- , and that thought alone completely threw him. Jamie was back; _Jamie was alive_. After two long years… it really didn't make any sense at all.

Before he knew where his feet were taking him he ended up out on one of the balconies, staring out across the vast ocean surrounding the great city of Atlantis. He stood there quite a while, thinking over everything that had just occurred when a voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"And the award for most predictable marine in Atlantis this morning goes to…"

Adam smirked as Sergeant Tim Kagan came over and took up his position standing next to him, staring out into the distance. He had a point. Every time something thought-provoking, devastating, or just plain weird happened in Atlantis-anything that really needed to be thought about and/or discussed- the two of them would find themselves on that particular balcony talking about it. From Jamie's death to the siege that had taken away so many of their friends and colleagues to the most recent case of the mission where Kagan had nearly died numerous times; predictably they always ended up there.

"So I hear Jamie's back." Kagan commented.

"On the Atlantis grapevine already is it?" Adam replied dryly.

"Not yet, give it an hour when everyone's awake then the place will be buzzing with stories. No, Croz told me."

Adam nodded; it figured. Crosby had still been on duty when they'd left and he thought he'd seen him when they'd arrived back. "So he set you on me."

"Is it true then?"

"Apparently Jamie's as indecisive about dying as you are." He replied, wincing and regretting the words the moment he said them. He knew how much that mission had affected his friend and the guilt Kagan felt for being the one Beckett chose to save while he was hallucinating and not Barroso. "Sorry Tim."

Kagan shrugged dismissively. "It's ok." Adam knew it wasn't but before he could say anything else Kagan changed the subject. "Is he ok?"

"He's getting checked out by Beckett now."

"Are you ok?"

Adam looked at his friend in surprise. "What?"

"Are you ok?" Kagan repeated, "It's not everyday someone comes back from the dead…especially after two years."

"It's…weird…I don't know what I'm going to say to him." He confessed.

Kagan nodded. "He know how long he was gone yet?"

Adam sighed. "I don't think he knows he was dead yet."

"Ah."

"Exactly."

They lapsed into silence for a moment before Kagan turned to Adam with a grin.

"Well it's all happening now. You'll never guess who might be visiting next time we get a visit from the IOA."

"Who?"

"I'll give you a clue." Kagan said before glaring at him.

"Bates?" Adam guessed, a tad incredulously, as Kagan nodded. "He's working for them?"

"Got an honourable discharge and started working for them a while ago." Tim confirmed.

"How did you find out?"

"Shameless." Kagan replied, referring to Lieutenant Seamus Lee who he had worked with at the SGC before coming to Atlantis.

"Seamus? When? The Daedalus hasn't been here in weeks."

"Ah." He replied, looking decidedly sheepish, "A few months back."

"You've only just remembered?"

"We were all really busy after I heard, then I was busy dying last time Daedalus was here, so yeah it sort of slipped my mind."

Adam shook his head.

"So Marko's back and you're stood here because…?" Kagan prompted.

"It's all too ridiculous to believe." Adam responded, used to Kagan's way of abruptly changing the subject, returning it to serious matters. "He's been dead for two years, I thought I watched him die and now he's back, alive, and it's kind of hard to take in."

"Understandable."

"We're not the same people we were before. I don't want to go into details before we've had a mission debrief but Jamie…he's…different. I don't know how he's going to cope with everything that's happened in the time he's been gone. I get this feeling I'm going to lose him again after we've only just got him back. I really don't know what to do."

Kagan was silent for a moment. "You take a chance. You talk to him. Maybe you'll find the old Marko, maybe you wont. You've got a second chance though Stacks; don't waste it."

"So...?"

"So it's not every day we get to take down a picture from the memorial. Stop wasting time talking to me and talk to him."

Adam nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Adam turned and began to walk back into the city before pausing. "You're locked out of your room again aren't you?"

"Aren't I always?"

Adam smirked and shook his head. "Three years Kages. Three years."

"Yeah, yeah. Go say hi to Marko for me."

This time Adam really did go back indoors. He had to go and see if Jamie was alright and put his own mind at rest. Even if they couldn't make it past everything that had happened at least this time he could get some closure on such an important part of his life.

* * *

By the time Doctor Beckett came up to deliver his findings to Doctor Weir only she and Colonel Sheppard were still in her office. Rodney had gone to check on whether his staff had made any glaringly stupid mistakes in his absence and Ronon had just gone off somewhere.

"Sorry for the delay" Carson apologised as he walked in.

"It's fine." Elizabeth replied with a smile, "What did you discover?"

"Well there's no doubt about it, it really is Sergeant James Markham."

"He's not a clone, or a replicator or anything?" Sheppard asked.

"No, no, he's human."

"And how is he?" Elizabeth asked.

"The injury to his leg isn't as bad as it looks it was merely exacerbated by the strain he was putting on it, it should heal up nicely. He's quite tired but that's only to be expected. He has quite a collection of scars but they have all healed, and there's no internal damage. Physically he's a healthy twenty-five year old."

"Well that's good." Commented Sheppard to which Carson shook his head.

"Not exactly Colonel. He was a healthy twenty-five year old two years ago before he, well, died. He should be twenty-seven by now."

"What?"

"While we were checking his blood we discovered two compounds that should not be there. Neither is harmful and both will break down naturally within a few days but one we believe was used to fool the body into staying exactly the same, not aging, not changing, nothing. Quite remarkable really."

"And the other?" Elizabeth prompted.

Carson sighed. "From what I've gathered from Sergeant Markham and from what you've told me about the confusion over time experienced by the rest of the team that went to find him, it would appear that the second compound plays with a person's perception of time. It seems to be airborne and the longer a person is exposed to it the more distorted their perception of time becomes."

"Markham did say that he sent that message a week ago" John offered.

"Exactly. As far as he's concerned he very well might have. He's quite confused about the whole thing but in a few days he should be fine."

"Is he up to telling us what happened?" asked Elizabeth.

"Aye, should be." Carson replied, hesitating a moment before continuing "Though I may have put my foot in it a little."

"How do you mean?"

"Well as I said he was very confused about how long it had actually been since he was last in Atlantis so to put his mind at rest I explained that it had been two years…"

"Seems fair enough." Cut in Sheppard.

"…then I may have accidentally mentioned that we believed he'd died. I'm sorry Elizabeth it just slipped out thoughtlessly."

"It's alright Carson. He needed to be told." She replied "It may be time for us to have that chat about what happened to him though."

* * *

Jamie was sat staring blankly at the ceiling when Adam arrived. One of the nurses said it was ok for him to go and visit for a while, but probably only since he was the one to help him to the infirmary in the first place.

"Hey." He greeted awkwardly, still a little unnerved by the whole situation.

Jamie didn't reply, just shifted his attention from the ceiling to look at him. It was strange for Jamie to be so quiet. The last time he'd had to visit Jamie in the infirmary he'd immediately grinned and started joking. He tried putting it down to Jamie being tired after everything he'd been through but something nagged at the back of his mind telling him something wasn't right.

"So…how do you feel?"

"Fine."

"Beckett gave you the all clear?"

"Yeah."

Adam frowned. There was a harshness to Jamie's rather blunt answers that he'd never heard before, not even when they'd argued.

"Is everything ok?"

"Fine."

"Jay?"

"Like you care anyway." Jamie snapped coldly, glaring at him in a way that would have put Bates' most potent glares to shame.

Adam was taken aback. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Apparently I've just spent two years fighting for my life waiting for a rescue that was never going to come."

"Jamie…"

"That's what I clung to. All that time I kept believing that you were out there looking for me, I thought to myself 'Adam won't give up on me'. Shows how stupid I am." He sneered, turning his attention back to the ceiling.

Adam had thought he'd prepared himself for whatever might happen, but he hadn't expected this. "It's not that simple…I thought…"

"You thought I was dead."

He knew, oh god, he knew.

"Yeah."

"Well I'm not am I? The fact there was no corpse didn't get you thinking at all?"

"What corpse? There was an explosion Jamie. There wasn't anything to be found!" he shot back in slight exasperation.

There was a long moment of tense silence that hung in the air between them until Jamie began to speak again.

"If I hadn't sent that distress call you never would have come looking for me. I would have died there waiting for that…that would have suited you just fine wouldn't it?" Jamie hissed, venom dripping from each word.

Adam was horrified that Jamie would even think like that to begin with. If he'd believed for one second that Jamie could have possibly been out there of-course he would've kept looking. He wouldn't have given up, none of them would; they still looked out for Ford when they were off-world, despite the fact that he would probably never be able to return to Atlantis even if they did find him.

He wanted to say that to Jamie. He wanted Jamie to stop looking at him with such hate and coldness that just didn't suit the younger man. He wanted to explain so much but before he could get the chance to Doctor Weir, Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Beckett arrived.

All those hopes he'd started to tentatively allow himself to build up were turning to ash.

Jamie hated him.

Jamie really hated him…and he doubted there was anything he could say to fix it.


	6. Chapter 6

"Of all the things I thought I'd be doing with my day, interviewing a member of my team who until a few hours ago I believed was dead, wasn't really high on the agenda." Doctor Weir commented with a wry smile as she and Colonel Sheppard walked with Doctor Beckett down to the infirmary.

"Bit of a weird one." agreed Sheppard "Even for us. You'd think we'd be used to this sort of thing by now."

They reached the infirmary and entered, heading over to where Beckett indicated Sergeant Jamie Markham was. It seemed like he had been in conversation with Sergeant Adam Stackhouse but that whatever they had been saying had curtailed off just moments before they arrived.

As they approached Stackhouse stood more to attention and even Markham sat more upright; some things were habit no matter how long it had been.

Doctor Weir smiled gently at the young marine, taking a seat in the chair that had been left by his bedside. "How are you feeling Sergeant?"

"I'm fine Ma'am." he replied politely.

"We need to ask you a few questions about what happened to you. Is that alright?"

"Yes Ma'am."

Looking to the other marine stood awkwardly on the other side of Sergeant Markham's bed and remembering what Chuck had said and what she and Sheppard had both observed, she decided to pose the question to the recently returned Sergeant:

"Would you prefer it if Sergeant Stackhouse stayed for this?"

To Stackhouse's surprise, not that he really showed it, Markham nodded.

"Please… I don't want to tell this anymore times than I have to."

Doctor Weir nodded in acceptance, indicating to Stackhouse that he was permitted to stay, before turning her attention back to Markham.

"Take your time. What's the last thing you remember of being in Atlantis?"

"There was a Wraith Dart over the city. We went out in the 'jumpers to try and stop it. Corporal Smith was with me. It disappeared from view, neither of us could see it and the sensors couldn't spot it either. Smith was muttering, asking how we could lose something as ugly as a Dart and then…then there was this noise and then nothing."

"Nothing?" echoed Weir.

"The next thing I knew I was alone, lying on the ground in the middle of this forest…there was no-one else around, no signs of life except…except someone had scraped the word 'run' into the ground next to me. Then there was a sound like gunfire that was too close for comfort, so I did what I was told and ran."

He looked down at his hands, smirking softly, before looking up again; maintaining eye contact with his superiors.

"I did a lot of running. That's all you could do. Run or die, it wasn't much of a tough decision. After a while it just fell into a routine, you know. Run, get injured, get captured, get beaten, get healed, get released, run. Over and over again. You just had to keep going because if they got tired of you then it was all over."

"They?" asked Sheppard.

"The one's who kept us there. I don't know who they were, or what they looked like. The word was that you'd only see what they really looked like when they were just about to kill you…most of the time if they were going to mess with you they'd make you hallucinate, make you think that you'd been found…that's why I reacted the way I did to the guy with you Sir…I thought he was one of them."

"Ronon can be quite intimidating." Beckett empathised with a small smile.

"You said 'us', were there others there?" asked Weir.

"Yes Ma'am. I couldn't say how many, I only ever saw five." He shook his head. "The moment you found someone else your life was twice at risk as it was before. Even if you only talked for a little while, took separate paths and avoided meeting up with them, a few days later you'd still come across their corpse just dumped in your path. You had to be extra careful…only one person I met stayed alive longer than a few days…he was the one who helped me get the message through to you."

He smirked.

"His name was Boysdanlmead, he was a scientist. He told me where he was from but I couldn't pronounce it and he just wouldn't believe me when I told him about Atlantis or Earth for that matter. He was a good guy. While we were trying to find somewhere to hide during another random attack we came across the Stargate…it was overgrown and pretty sorry looking but we went back and he worked out that he could make it open for a really short time, not long enough for us to go through, but enough to get a message through.

"You see; another thing 'they' did to mess with you was to leave you with only part of something that could help you. I had a broken radio and Boysdanlmead had some wires and tools, but if we hadn't found each other none of it would have been any use to us. Boysdanlmead fixed up my busted radio to make a transmitter that we could use to send a message…he didn't know enough about Stargates to fix that, so we had to make do.

"We split up. We weren't sure if they could track us, so we split up and went far away from the 'gate for a few days just to be sure that they couldn't find it. We arranged to meet up and contact Atlantis since it was our best bet…The day before we were meant to try I found him dead. He'd been captured and killed by them…"

He went silent for a moment before pulling himself together again and continuing to speak.

"I did what he told me and sent the message. I'd wanted- hoped-, to stay relatively near the 'gate but then the attacks came. Normally they were relatively random and short-lived but the ones after I sent the message were more sustained, continuous. Days passed and I gave up hope that the plan had worked…when I got injured I knew that it wouldn't be all that long before they caught up to me and probably actually kill me. Then…well you know the rest."

Sheppard nodded, he'd already briefed Weir and Beckett over what had occurred on the planet when they'd finally found Markham and the marine's explanation of what had happened to him certainly filled in a few of the blanks.

Exchanging a look with both Doctor Beckett and Colonel Sheppard, Doctor Weir got to her feet giving Sergeant Markham a smile.

"I think that's enough for the time being. Thank you Sergeant. And welcome back."

"Thank you Ma'am." He replied with a small smile of his own.

Doctor Beckett went off to check on another of his patients and Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Weir left the infirmary, headed back to Weir's office, leaving Jamie and Adam alone again.

Adam didn't say anything though and after a moment he too turned and exited the infirmary.

He didn't notice the look of guilt and regret in Jamie's eyes as he watched him leave…


	7. Chapter 7

It had been nearly a week since everything regarding Sergeant Jamie Markham's return to Atlantis had happened. Everyone now knew about it; those who had been part of the original expedition received the news with happiness while those who had joined the expedition after the Siege reacted with curiosity, exchanging theories, some of which were quite frankly bizarre, even for them.

Everyone was glad though that for once someone had been returned to them after all of the terrible losses they had suffered since their arrival in the Pegasus Galaxy.

Out of everyone in Atlantis though, Sergeant Adam Stackhouse had the most reason to be happy; except he wasn't. The confrontation he'd had with Jamie and then the explanation from Jamie about what had happened to him in those two years he was missing kept repeating over and over in his mind. He hadn't been prepared for Jamie to be so hurt and angry over what had happened but after hearing what he'd had to go through he couldn't really blame him for reacting that way. He'd survived through so much only to discover the one thing he'd clung on to hadn't even been an option in reality. No-one had been looking; no-one had even believed him to be alive. Jamie had been right; if he hadn't sent them that distress call they wouldn't have found him.

The guilt he felt and the hurt from realising that Jamie hated him, quite justifiably, led him to avoid all possibilities of contact with the other marine.

Jamie had been released from the infirmary two days earlier and was currently staying in one of the spare quarters they had that was usually used by the occasional visiting scientist from Earth.

He'd done his best to keep away but eventually Crosby's meaningful looks and Kagan's incredibly blunt hints, combined with his own need to clear the air with the man he'd cared about so deeply for so long, led him to the door of Jamie's temporary quarters.

Anything he might have been planning on saying though promptly disappeared the moment the door slid open to reveal Jamie staring back at him looking relatively surprised to see him of all people there.

"Hey."

"Hi." He managed to get out in reply, his brain struggling to come up with anything better than that.

Seeing as this wasn't the most auspicious start to an actual conversation Jamie just nodded before turning and walking back into his room. Adam followed him in knowing that it was, and always had been, Jamie's way of asking someone 'do you want to come in?' He waited for the door to close behind him before attempting to talk again.

"Jamie I…"

"I'm sorry." Jamie blurted out suddenly cutting off whatever it was that Adam had been about to say.

Adam was startled, "What?"

Jamie gave a small shrug looking at him a little helplessly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten pissed off and snapped like that."

"Jay…" Adam began again before being cut off yet again by an insistent Jamie.

"No, no listen to me Adam. I was hurt and scared and angry and you were there and I had to take it out on someone but…but I was wrong. I would have thought I was dead too from what I've read about what happened and…"

Knowing that Jamie could babble on forever if he got a chance, Adam decided it was his turn to do the interrupting and did so with a loud sigh of exasperation.

"For gods sake Jamie shut up and let me apologise!"

Ignoring the slightly wounded look on Jamie's face he continued:

"You were right to be angry."

"No I wasn't."

"Yes you were." Adam replied with a growl of frustration. "You were right; what you said in the infirmary. We wouldn't have found you if you hadn't sent that message. We weren't looking and I'm sorry. But if there had been any reason to think you were alive then…"

"I know." Jamie replied quietly sitting down on the end of the bed "At least I understand now why Chuck gave you the letter."

From the very first days of the expedition, following the deaths of Colonel Sumner and others at the hands of the Wraith, people had started writing letters to be delivered in the event of their deaths. The threat felt so much realer, what with being disconnected from Earth and the all too real presence of the reawakened Wraith, that a large number of both the military and civilian populations wanted there to be at least some sort of chance to say goodbye, in case they died before they had the chance to say it properly themselves. The letters were always addressed to someone else on the expedition, even if the content wasn't meant specifically for them; messages to be passed on to their families and loved ones back on Earth in case they ever re-established contact with the SGC. Another constant was that, after being written, the letters were always given to Chuck for safekeeping. He wasn't the Chief Gate technician back then but he still seemed to know who everyone was and everyone trusted him to keep the unspoken promise that he would make sure their letter reached its destination following their deaths.

"Why did you write just 'Bye.'?" Adam asked voicing the question he'd wanted to ask ever since Chuck had handed him the letter only two hours after they had believed Jamie had died.

"It seemed like the most important thing to say." Jamie replied "I hoped you just knew the rest."

Adam nodded. Even though he had known or at least had a feeling that he'd known everything else that Jamie had meant and left unsaid the letter hadn't given him the closure that the whole premise of the letters was supposed to provide. Two years had passed and the closest he'd come to actual closure was when he told Colonel Sheppard that Jamie was dead, just a few hours before that fact was proved to be false.

As a slightly awkward silence began to descend on them Adam decided to change the subject.

"You've read about what happened?"

"Yeah…I've been catching up on everything that's happened since I…" he trailed off but they both knew what he meant. "Doctor Weir wanted to know if I saw anyone else from Atlantis where I was, but I hadn't." he paused again "There've been a lot of losses haven't there."

"Yeah." Adam replied heavily. No matter how long you have to get used to these things you never truly 'get used' to seeing people you know and see on a daily basis dying; even if you know it's just another part of being involved in something so dangerous.

"Everything's changed." Jamie said quietly "I barely recognise the place…I barely recognise anyone here. Everyone I knew seems to be gone…Bates…Ford…Tone…is _anything_ the same?"

"Well…" began Adam sitting down on the bed near Jamie "…at any given time you can still hear Doctors McKay and Zelenka arguing…Crosby still writes really awful poetry…Kages is still getting outsmarted by the doors to his quarters..."

"Still?" Jamie asked incredulously.

"Still." Adam confirmed with a smirk. "Barton can still cause trouble without being near anyone or anything, and I…I'm still here."

"Still the same?"

"More or less."

The silence returned but this time it was Jamie that broke it.

"I spent a lot of time thinking about what it would be like when I finally got back here but I guess I just didn't think things through properly. I thought it would be easier, I thought it wouldn't hurt so much…I didn't think I'd get here to find out that we could now contact Earth only to find out that I can never go home."

Adam didn't know what to say. Jamie was right; he couldn't go home again to his family. They'd been informed of his death; they'd grieved, had a memorial service for him, and had spent two years believing he was dead; just as they had. It was alright for them though, they experienced strange things on a daily basis, even coming back from the dead wasn't really such a big thing following Doctor Daniel Jackson's numerous supposed deaths, but Jamie's family wouldn't be prepared for such things; how could they turn around two years later and say 'we were wrong he's alive', without causing more problems and heartache than they would remedy.

He realised there really was nothing he could say to make things better so he settled for just resting his hand on Jamie's shoulder.

Jamie sighed. "I really missed you."

"I missed you too." He replied quietly.

The silence returned yet again but neither chose to break it; they didn't need to. This wasn't the time for deep and meaningful conversations about the future or even if there _was_ a future for them in the way that there was a past.

There was no need for confessions of feelings, further apologies or regrets. Jamie had literally been through hell and Adam had been through so much too; they didn't need to hash over anything else, explain their motives, hopes or fears. All Jamie needed was to know that he was not alone and all Adam needed was to know that Jamie was safe and alive.

They just remained the way they were, silently supporting each other through their mere presences. There would be a time for deeper conversations, but not that day.


	8. Chapter 8

Even after every single surreal thing that had happened to them since they'd arrived in the lost city of Atlantis, ranging from awakening a race of space vampires to a missing team member returning after being believed to be dead for two years, this really beat all.

The Ancients, the ones who had built Atlantis and who had disappeared after being defeated by the Wraith and sinking the City, had been found again. Instead of that being a cause for celebration though, the Ancients had immediately demanded that they leave Atlantis and return to Earth. Despite there being a large number of protestations being made they really had no choice in the matter and were given forty-eight hours to pack up and return through the Stargate to Earth.

All the doors to people's quarters were open as they packed up their belongings getting ready to say goodbye to the city they now called home and the sort of extended family that they had gained over the past few years.

* * *

Adam had been trying to fold and refold his clothes to fit back into his backpack when Jamie appeared in his doorway.

"Hey." He greeted, "You all packed?"

Jamie smiled wryly, "I didn't exactly have much to pack."

Adam nodded. Most of Jamie's own belongings had been packed up and shipped back to Earth following his death; what he had now was borrowed from other members of the expedition until they could get some stuff he could call his own from Earth…not that that was an issue now.

"It seems strange to be going back." He remarked, to which Jamie nodded, coming fully into the room.

"Yeah, I can be interrogated on Earth sooner rather than later."

The SGC and IOA were waiting to 'talk' with Jamie following Doctor Weir reporting his return, supposedly from the dead, to them. It wasn't something that Jamie was particularly looking forward to, especially since they sort of had the power to control whether he ever left the SGC again.

"You'll be Ok. Sheppard and Doctor Weir wont let them lock you up."

"I know." Jamie replied quietly "I just don't know what I'll do afterwards…I can't go home."

"We'll think of something."

Jamie stared at him for a moment before smiling, "Thanks."

He nodded. They weren't quite on the track back to where they were before but maybe, eventually, they'd find a better track to be on. They were friends again though which was at least a start.

"So you want some company while you pack?" Jamie asked.

Adam smirked, "Well I certainly wouldn't ask for your help. I remember that mess you called packing when we came here."

"Hey!" Jamie reacted indignantly.

"Company is good though." He replied hastily, hoping to cut off any argument Jamie might attempt to come up with regarding, well anything.

Jamie shook his head with a smile and was about to say something when Tim Kagan appeared in the doorway, mildly out of breath and glancing over his shoulder.

"Everything alright Kages?" Adam asked with a small frown.

Kagan nodded, "Just to warn you Crosby has been off talking with the Language department again and has come up with a new poem, so I'd hide if I were you." He paused looking back into the corridor again, "There's Kemp I'd better tell him."

With that the dark haired marine disappeared shouting "Niall! Code six. Crap poem alert!"

Adam looked to Jamie with a smirk. "Thank God. I thought he was going to tell us he'd finished that song re-write he was working on."

Jamie smirked back, "No matter how much has changed it's quite…disturbing that some things never ever change."

Adam laughed, before sobering up. "I'm going to miss this place." He said looking around his quarters.

"I'm really glad you found me before all this." Jamie said softly.

"Me too." Adam replied. He didn't want to even imagine what it would have been like leaving Atlantis, if Jamie really had died, or what would have happened if it had been the Ancients there to pick up his distress call and not them.

In less than twenty-four hours they would be back on Earth, far away from their newfound friends and allies as well as their enemies. It was doubtful they would be allowed back to the great city, not by the Ancients at least. It was another one way trip, just as the trip to Atlantis had almost been, but this time it somehow seemed harder to leave.

So much had happened in such a relatively short space of time, but they had survived and even though they were now going back to Earth earlier than they had wanted to they would surely survive that too.

Times were changing, new stories were beginning, and whatever happened next at least Adam knew that he had Jamie back and that they would face things together, as friends or whatever.

Who knows what the future will bring?


End file.
